If the large bottle of shampoo and body wash that you took was really a potentially dangerous chemical, why on earth did you throw it in the garbage with all the other potentially dangerous chemicals? You’re doing the terrists dirty work for them and turning that garbage can into a big potential bomb.

In other news, Hillary hates women who hover. You know who you are. In your attempt to avoid whatever terrible disease is lurking on the toilet, you have managed to piss all over the seat. Gross. Please just sit like a reasonable person. Thank you.

While some parts of travel are lacking, shuttle drivers rock. Thank you Shirley for making our day a little nicer.